The Hardest Thing I've Ever Had To Do

I write this in tears...

I write this in a state of mourning for my 13 year-old collie, Byron.  We put him to sleep yesterday.  He died in his home, in our arms.  The pain of guilt and the feeling of an incredibly large void in my life have me constantly battling against the feeling that nothing really matters.  In time I will get over this but it is what I feel now.  Byron was born on a farm in central Virginia in 1999.  He was considered the runt of the litter but you would never have known it from his size and stamina.  We moved him down to Alabama before he had turned 1.  He had loads of energy and curiosity as a puppy, and he gives my wife and I several laughs as we recall the memories of this time.  

The Case of the Fallen Objects
One such memory involves the mystery of the falling objects.  We had a cat, Chloe, for about a year before we got Byron.  We came home from work for several days in a row in our first apartment to find objects knocked to the floor that were supposed to be on the fireplace mantel.  My wife, accustomed to cats, accused Byron and I, likewise, accused Chloe.  We setup a camera to determine which was the culprit.  Sure enough, my wife was right.  We saw Byron gently stretch and place his front paws on the mantel, nosing around in curiosity.  During his investigations he would occasionally, accidentally, knock some object off the shelf.  My wife was proud that she was right but while we were talking the tape played on to reveal Chloe intentionally pushing objects off of it, ...intentionally!!! 

Byron and Chloe ca. 1999

In Byron's early adolescent years we adopted a rescued puppy from a dog-fighting mill.  This dog, Dickens, is part lab, retriever and chow.   Obviously they each had their own personalities.  Byron was considered the academic to Dickens's athlete.     Even the choice of toys was different.  Byron preferred a rope toy, something that he could bring to us or Dickens to engage with.  Dickens preferred stuffed animals that he could privately tear into.  They both complemented each other.  We went to a parade with trucks, floats and mules.  Dickens was engrossed in the parade but was untrusting/fearful of the mules and chose to watch from behind our backs.  Ummm, under the car behind our backs...  This while Byron was up in front very excited to see the mules and trying hard to get their attention, an act that Dickens surely despised.  Byron's excitement actually brought people out of the parade to pet him and love on him a little. 

Jailbreaker...
In a separate story, Byron and Dickens would often be placed in a run together when occasionally being boarded at the vet.  The vet assistants knew the dogs on sight and were always loving on them, which in turn meant the dogs enjoyed the experience as well.  During one particular stay the assistants were finding loose dogs in the boarding room in the morning.  Somehow the gates on many of the runs were not being secured and the dogs would get out and spend the night in semi-freedom within this large room.  After coming to work and finding this situation on the second morning, the assistants decided they would setup a sting to find who or what was responsible for leaving the gates unsecured.  To their amazement they found that Byron was actually nosing at the latch on his run he shared with Dickens.  He was able to open the gate, and would then proceed to unlock certain other gates giving those dogs their freedom as well.  While he was out playing with his newly freed friends, Dickens was still back in his run, deep in the cage that he was sharing with Byron, looking guilty as though he was trying to convince Byron that they shouldn't be doing this.  We were shocked but very proud upon hearing this from the vet assistants.  They started using ties on the gates after that.

Byron and Dickens ca. 2009

Byron was always a very empathetic dog.  If you were upset about something he would come to you, sit and stare into your eyes.  If you were angry he would come to you, sit and stare into your eyes with a guilty look in his.  If he was caught doing something he knew he shouldn't, no matter how angry you were, he would come to you, sit and stare into your eyes with a guilty look and drooping ears.  Most interesting of all, if Dickens was doing something wrong and was actually getting away with it, Byron would come to you, sit and stare into your eyes with a somewhat guilty look.  I was never quite sure if he was telling me that something bad had happened but he was not involved, or if he was just getting back at Dickens because Dickens was more successful at sneaking about. Regardless, you could always count on Byron being by your side.  Even on camping trips, Dickens would be leading the group but Byron would be running up and down the group ensuring that no one was left behind.  There were several times when I would intentionally drop off from the group and hide behind a tree.  Within a minute Byron would be running back down the trail we had just come up looking for me.  If I wasn't on the trail, Byron would expand his search radius several yards into the trees and brush on either side.  When he found me he would position himself between me and the group to show me the direction I had to go to catch up.  While catching up he would run between me and the tail end of the group until all were united again.

Byron, Dickens, nose smudges, ...and those eyes (ca. 2007).

In Byron's final year his back legs were giving out on him.  He was unable to navigate stairs and was constantly calling on us to help him up.  In the end he was falling while relieving himself.   But he was still there, by your side, if he could be, with those eyes, those large beautiful brown knowing eyes. Byron was put to sleep at approximately 9:15 am on Thursday, May 24, 2012. 

     
Dickens is now going through the mourning process along with us.  We had him present during Byron's final moments.  Dickens positioned himself between my wife and I, resting his head on my leg.  Dickens always enjoyed going for a long walk or hike.  Now he doesn't want to leave sight of the house. 

Dreams

 The first dream that I remember, and one of the scariest ever (at the age of 3 anyway), had to do with going to an airshow.  My family and I watched various planes fly over to our amusement.  The star of the show was, of all pilots, Snoopy.  He hopped into his Sopwith Camel, sped down the runway, and took off into an immediate loop-to-loop.  I was amazed at his ability to fly.  At the bottom of the second loop he landed.  Next thing I knew I was in the passenger seat of the plane.  He took off again and to my terror started his loop-to-loop maneuver again.  My hands gripped on the leather padding edge of the cockpit fuselage cutout as we reached the apex of that first loop.  As we came out of it I was grasped by the relief of our landing only to find out he was going to do it again.  What the hell, Snoopy??  He landed at the bottom of the second loop, I jumped out with my heart racing and shot into the arms of my bemused mom.  I immediately woke up after that with my heart actually racing. 

One of my first books, and possibly the reason for my dream.

You're a complete bastard, Snoopy!!!  But I still love you.

Last night I had the craziest dream.  I dreamt that all mechanical/electrical devices across the globe stopped working at the same time.  There were planes actually dropping from the sky, cars careening into each other as well as pedestrians, and trains flying off the tracks.  To make matters worse, whatever was causing this started to take it out on individuals as well.  Meteors started falling from the sky directed towards individual people or groups.  At one point I was the target of such harassment.  I broke away from the group i was with and headed toward a shallow cave.  After hiding away for a while the protagonists turned their sights elsewhere allowing me to leave my sanctuary in an attempt to determine what the hell was going on.  As is typical, I awoke before solving the mystery.

I have these types of dreams about 4 or 5 times a year.  They typically involve some sort of invasion-like scenario, sometimes involving aliens, others times something from the unknown.  I suppose Freud would say that I am lost somehow in the real world and am seeking a solution to an unknown problem.  I would say that I'm just having some really freaky dreams that are actually fairly invigorating both mentally and physically (in dream-state anyway).   What are some dreams that you occasionally have that affect you somehow in the 'real-world'?   

Book Binder Software

So..., last night I got a little crafty and decided to turn my Cardiff Uni BCS Dissertation into a book.  Not going to publish it, mind you.  I'm actually going to make it into a book.  I found a great piece of free software from Quantum Elephant that turns any PDF into a book.  Well, actually it will divide the individual pages into signatures that you can then bind into a book form yourself.  The software is easy to use and offers some variability.  You have the option to change units, type of printer, book size, and signature format.  There is also a box to check if you want to add a flyleaf.  I took my nearly 100 page dissertation and scrunched it down to three signatures of 8 sheets of paper each (there are four 'book-pages' on each sheet of printer paper).  The software organizes each book page on the sheets so that they are in order when printed and folded into signatures.  Really simple.  Just make sure that you click the tab for reverse printing on your printer software to ensure that the 'side 2' pages of each PDF coupling are printed in the correct order.  I kept forgetting and wasted 24 sheets of printer paper (ouch..., and not very green at all).  While Katherine and I are in the process of minimizing, I felt that my dissertation was important enough for me to have a hard copy.  May be a while before I am able to finish the actual book (lack of some supplies) but I do have the signatures ready to go.  

Title Page of My Book

  

Three Body Signatures and One Title Page/Acknowledgment Signature

Transition from one signature to the next.

Please excuse the photo-quality of the pics, but the message I'm trying to get across is that BookBinder 3.0 is a fine software for the production of signatures, ...you supply the text.

USS Constitution

In a recent post I wrote that I was attempting to paint the USS Constitution to represent the ship on 19 August, 1812, the day she encountered the HMS Guerrière.  Michele Felice Corne was commissioned to memorialize the event by Capt. Hull soon after the ship made port.  I felt that the colors Corne used, and Capt. Hull accepted, would most closely represent the colors of the ship on that day.

Notes of color on a photo representation of one of Corne's four paintings representing the battle between the USS Constitution and the HMS Guerrière. Note:There are no gun port lids present.

USS Constitution November 11 and 12, 2012

Four hours were spent deburring, painting and adhering the cannon and carriage components of the guns.  During assembly I became increasing dissatisfied with the color of the carriages.  I had originally painted most of the carriages with Model Master Acryl Rot RLM 23.  They started to appear pink to me.  I had pink guns... pink guns... pink.  I was trying to match colors suggested on my limited internet research.  This research suggested that the carriages were typically green, yellow ocher or dusty red.  I had pink.  I tried a second color on one of the remaining unpainted carriages.  Model Master Enamel Paint British Crimson gave the carriage a stale brown color.  Satisfactory but slightly boring, but much better than pink.  The depth of color of the carriage was greatly increased when I painted over one of the previously painted 'pink' carriages.  I really liked the effect of these colors (British crimson painted over a dried layer of Rot RLM 23) when combined.  I left the one carriage with the single layer of British crimson and painted one other unpainted carriage yellow ocher.  The chaser gun located on the spar deck also had a single layer of British crimson.  Cannon were often traded on the high seas and I thought these mismatched carriages could represent a recent transaction of sorts.

Most of the carriages were painted with Rot RLM 23 giving an unsatifactory 'pink' color.  These were later over-painted with British crimson. 

All but three of the guns were painted with a base layer of Rot RLM 23 and over-layer of British Crimson.  Two carriages were painted with a single layer of British crimson and a third with a single layer of yellow ocher. 

   

USS Constitution November 3, 2011

Cannon of the USS Constitution

Thursday, November 3, 2011
I spent an hour deburring and adhering the cannon halves together.  All the cannon were painted flat black.  I painted one gun carriage but didn't like the pink result.   

Unpainted and painted carriage.

Gun Carriage with painted trunnion band and trucks.

There are several internet 'sources' that say the USS Constitution was armed with 30 24-pounders on the gun deck.  I understand that two additional gun ports were added toward the bow sometime after the battle with the HMS Guerrière, one on either side.  The number of actual guns at any time was at the discretion of the captain.  The Revell model comes with sixteen gun ports on the gun deck per side for a total of 32. I filled in both of the bow end gun ports using two of the gun lids with Squadron White Putty.  I shaved the hinges off of the gun port lids.  I also filled in all of the 'hinge-spaces' for the rest of the ports on the gun deck using the putty.  This procedure took 45 minutes to complete.  Corne's painting shows no gun ports and 'research' on the internet suggest that gun port lids were not used on the Constitution except during extreme weather.  

Shaving off the hinges of a gun port lid supplied by Revell.

Filling-in a gun port with a modified lid and putty.

Wednesday, November 9, 2012
The hull parts were adhered together using Testors Cement and various vices to hold the hull pieces.  While it was drying I applied a thick bead of PVA adhesive to the interior seam.  Having applied the same bead using Testors cement would have required a full tube and may have distorted the plastic in some areas. The filled gun ports were also painted black as a 'primer' for the painting of the hull later. 

Adhering the two hull pieces together using various vices.

 

USS Constitution

So, one of my many hobbies is to build models.  I have memories of building models with my dad from a very young age.  In fact, one of the first models we built together influenced my career choice later in life.  We built a ziggurat out of cardboard for a school history project.  A few years later in art class I was supposed to be carving Big Ben out of plaster but soon realized i didn't even know how the tower actually looked  So..., I broke the top off of it, stuck it on a sheet of ceiling tile, placed green moss around the bottom of it and called it a Mayan temple.  It was put on display for the year in the window of the classroom.  It got to the point in more recent times that I would build the model, play with it for a couple of days, then put it aside with the idea I was going to build a diorama at a later date.  Invariably it would never happen and I was left with a mass of unaffiliated models floating around the house.  Eventually I sold most of them through yard sales... and people were willing to buy them.  Its not that they were all that good or that they brought in much money.  It was just cool that people wanted them for whatever reason.

USS Constitution
My first attempt at the Revell 1/96 scale model of the USS Constitution occurred back in 2003.  I had it complete accept for running most of the lines when a shelf broke sending the model crashing to the garage floor.  I held on to it for a few months but realized that I was defeated.  I sold it for $20 at a garage sale.  The guy didn't even want the parts I had yet to place on the model.  Who knows what became of it.  That particular model was painted to reflect the current state of the ship.

CSS Alabama
I started this model in 2005.  It is a Revell 1/96 scale model of the American Civil War commerce raider CSS Alabama.  The partially completed hull made the trip from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, to Richmond, Virginia, in December of 2005.  I worked on it from time to time until I left for Cardiff in 2007.  Hurricane Irene hit Virginia in August of 2011.  We were left with no power for a week.  I spent that time completing the model in our screened-in back porch.  I was partly inspired to complete it after visiting the HMS Warrior in Portsmouth, England.  The two ships were completed around the same time and are very similar except for the slightly longer hull and extra funnel of the Warrior.  I was very proud of how the ship turned out and decided I would try again with the USS Constitution.

HMS Warrior, Portsmouth, England

CSS Alabama

Model of CSS Alabama

HMS Warrior

Model of CSS Alabama

HMS Warrior

Exhibit on HMS Warrior innovations

 

Retractable propeller on the model of the CSS Alabama.

USS Constitution, Part Deux
 I wanted to be more accurate with this second 1/96 scale model of the ship.  I conducted online research of the ship and how other model builders constructed theirs.  I found many useful sights and suggestions from other modellers.  I also found that many ideas were contradictory.  This is mainly because the details of the ship during the August 19, 1812 battle with the HMS Guerrière were not recorded to the level of detail many modellers like.  I decided, damn the contradictions, I'll build the model to the depiction of it in Michele Felice Corne's depiction of the battle.  Upon the USS Constitution's return to port, Capt. Hull commissioned Corne to do a series of four paintings depicting the battle.  I am assuming that these painting probably most closely resemble how the shipped looked during the famous battle.

I will follow this post soon with a post detailing how I modified the painting instructions that came with the model to more closely resemble the ship in Corne's paintings.

Michele Felice Corne's depiction of the battle between the USS Constitution and the HMS Guerrière {{PD-Art}}.

    

   

Why "americaninwales" address???

If your questioning why my blog address is "...jcw-americaninwales...", this is your lucky post.  I originally setup this blog just prior to me heading to Cardiff University, Cardiff, Wales, to start my career changing education in the conservation of museum and archaeological objects in 2007.  The idea is that friends and family here in the States could follow my progress as I churned through my education. The reality is that i wrote one post that was never published.  Here it is for the first time...

Greetings to those who choose to read this. This is my first entry. I arrived in Cardiff early in September to set up housing for a two-year adventure in living abroad, alone, and cold. But not hungry as there are several pubs about and plenty of Indian cuisine. Still, the temperature in September is about 40 degrees cooler here than in Virginia. My wife, still residing in the States, keeps telling me that I have moved to a cold place. However the humidity is still pretty high and though I might be cold while moving about the streets, as soon as I enter indoors I sweat as though it were 95 degrees (F). Funny thing, its the humidity that I despised so much while living in Alabama. Can't seem to get away from it.
The people I have encountered so far are very nice. The only problem seems to be breaking-the-ice. The people are very reserved but once you break through they are extremely helpful and friendly. Very unlike the southern States where people are extremely friendly as strangers.
Obviously football has a different meaning here in Wales than it did in Alabama (SEC baby). In fact, football here is not even the #1 sport. In order it is probably like this; Rugby, drinking, fighting, football, etc...
My reason for coming to Cardiff is to attain another degree in some way related to archaeology. I will remain vague for the time being but those of you who know me know why I am here. 



My history in the professional world started while working for the Office of Archaeological Services (later changed to the Office of Archaeological Research) within the University of Alabama Museums.   I worked as an archaeologist for this cultural resources management organization for nearly ten years on projects throughout the southeast. This is where I met Katherine.  Since that time we have both had a career change.  She now works as a reference librarian at a private, non-profit library.  I've been working for a non-profit cultural institution as well.

Working in the swamps of central Alabama.

So, back to the subject of this post.  My time in Wales was absolutely wonderful from the first couple of days I had arrived.  I met people from all over the world and saw wonderful castles, cathedrals, and landscapes. Almost every hour of every day was filled with friends and work, and no time for blogging.  I am very happy to answer questions about attending uni in Cymru (Wales in welsh) if you should have some. And just as a cool aside, I received my first school project on my first day of class.  It was to conserve a 2000 year-old Roman broach pin.  I was hooked from the start.

Roman pin post-treatment.

Roman pin prior to treatment.

Caerphilly Castle

      

Post One of a Five-Year-Old Blog

Well, here I am. Opening my life to the general web and that audience that mostly pursues porn and cute cat pics. None of that here, ...well, mostly. The purpose of this blog is to discuss matters of great insignificance. In reality, there are four lines of prose i want to follow; 1) my response to my wife's embracement of a new, green way of living life, 2) my skeptical response to interesting but scary notions of life and conspiracy, 3) moments from my own life and how I have changed, 4) some of my hobbies and my progress in them. Digging A Green Life is a blog my wife started to record our progress in..., well, living a green life.

I introduced my wife to the British series The Good Life, known in the US as Good Neighbors, back in the 90s, although the show is from the 70s. Basically, it revolves around a married couple that adopt a self-sufficient lifestyle much to the chagrin of their conventional neighbors. They turn their front and back yards into gardens and eventually introduce animals to their home in suburbia. Each week saw them attempting to solve conventional suburbia problems using their simple, self sufficient philosophy. Katherine and I really liked the idea of 'getting off the grid'. This show, perhaps inadvertently, supported our idea that it could be done. Well, we are far from being at that same level but Katherine did turn half of our front yard into raised gardens while I was away for an extended period of time. I was very unhappy that I wasn't consulted about this at the time but have come to really enjoy growing some of our own food. We have received several compliments from people walking by and this helps to re-affirm that it is a good thing, a "Good Life" if you will. More recently Katherine has been dropping hints that she wants a goat. I'm not so sure our neighborhood is zoned for that sort of thing. I did have a week-long reprieve from this after we went to the Virginia State Fair and Katherine started thinking along the lines of Alpaca. To be honest, Katherine would be just as happy if I got her a couple of otters, but that's not gonna happen either.